I have known many widows, starting with Pauli, my best college friend, when we were both only 29 and had three children. As part of her therapy, she and I made a stab at outlining what we thought would be a perfect guidebook for widows. I felt like an authority on the subject. Later, in addition to my Mom and older friends and family members, my sister Joan and two nearby friends, Sue and Gretchen, all lost their husbands. By the age of 51, I knew more about widowhood than I cared to know.

Most widows go through a crazy emotional rollercoaster as they move from one stage to another. One moment they are flying high and the next they are sinking morosely into a pit. They can be on level ground one minute, but the next may find them perching warily on a high wire or chugging up a hill and churning up a pot of steam, ready to blow at the first turn.

Any loss perpetuates grief, and conversely, grieving is the humankind's way of dealing with loss. William Faulkner says, "Between grief and nothing, I will take grief." Without adequate grieving, we lose our spontaneity and our sense of being alive. Life turns into something to endure and the world feels like a hostile place.

Whether you've lost your significant other through a death or divorce it is emotionally traumatic. You've made plans together about retirement, had great hopes and dreams and now all that has evaporated. Now - you're single with retirement approaching and without your partner. What DO you do?

The loss of your significant other, either through divorce or death, will have a huge impact on your life. Understand that you will experience certain common stages of grief. Each person will mourn the loss differently and for varying amounts of time.

What is good in your life? Is it your family? Is it your job? Is it your community? Is it the vacation you took this summer? Is it your possessions? Is it your money? Is it your home? Is it the vehicle you drive? Is it meeting your friends? Is it making new friends? Is it the sports you enjoy? Is it watching TV? Is it the foods you eat? Is it school? Is it your church?

What is GOOD? GOOD is Get Out Of Debt.

Death is something people dont want to think about. This just makes the person feel so bad inside and make one think if this could be have been prevented.

The truth is death is another phase in life. By learning how to cope with this when it happens in the family, the individual will be able to express the same amount of sympathy and concern when this happens to a loved one or a friend.

Here are some tips of showing concern when this happens to others.

Our hearts can be disfigured. They can be troubled and tormented. Our hearts can be squeezed and distressed emotionally and psychologically to such a degree that finally they begin to whither under the strain. They crack or even break. The experience of having a "Broken Heart" is real.

Losing a loved one, struggling with job woes, or having our lives shattered with a horrible divorce are just some of the catalysts that can create severe trauma to our hearts.

Parents want to protect children from pain and suffering. However, when a loved one dies, parents, close friends and acquaintances are often at a loss as to how to handle this loss and what to say to a child. Is it appropriate to allow a 4 year old to see grandma dead? What if a classmate dies? What if the beloved nanny leaves or is dismissed? Loss can include the death of someone a child knew well, or a pet, moving home and loosing friends, parents separating or older siblings leaving home.

Loosing a pet is a horrifying experience. Not one word can describe the feeling of loss and grief associated with having to say goodbye forever to your pet. But those who have managed to go through this experience state that there are ways to ease the pain.

- Allow time to pass: In order to accept the inevitable, your mind needs some time to deal with the stress of having to say goodbye to your beloved pet. Whether your pet died from natural or unnatural causes you have to allow some time to pass and heal.